My heart broke open today

The last twig to snap was an emoji from a friend. Then it all fell apart. Everything I’d built against it broke down like the collapse of a dam wall.

I realised trying to hold love back is like using your hands to stop the tide coming in. It’s not even in the realm of possibility. The only thing you can do is sit by the shore and let it wash over you. The choice is whether to struggle or not.

Love is so huge. It’s more vast and unlimited than could be imagined. It’s not something that can be chosen. It’s so fundamental that it doesn’t need to be sought for, only revealed.

It’s not personal. It’s not limited to an individual. It only seemed to be limited because of all the beliefs accumulated around it.

It’s not dependant on a person, but it can be expressed to a person. It’s not dependent on a circumstance, but it can be expressed through a circumstance. The freedom to express it is it. The freedom to feel it is it. The belief that it shouldn’t be expressed or felt is nothing more than struggle against what is.

Once the beliefs fell away, there it was. It was always here. It’s always been here, and it doesn’t come or go.

It’s the fundamental nature of life. Nothing needs you, or a tree, or a beetle to be anything other than you are. Only a belief can say otherwise. A fleeting little thought that’s up against the tide of reality.